Tina tries to comfort while Sarah sobs heavily at Tina's home, "What a jerk! I can't believe he did that to you."

Sarah: "I just don't get it. He is not the man I thought he was. I remember in the beginning of our relationship how things were, how connected we felt to one another. Nobody could tell me that we wouldn't last. I thought he was the perfect man for me."

Tina: "Well, girl, let me tell ya, he certainly had me fooled because I thought you two were the perfect match too."

Sarah: "Why does this always happen to me? I did everything he asked me to do and more! I've always been there for him even when nobody else believed in him!"

Tina: "It just goes to show that all the good men are either married or gay and we get left with the dogs."

Sarah: "Girl, who you tellin? Here I am, trying to do better for myself but it seems that I keep on attracting the same kind of man. I am so tired of this! I just want a good man who can love me for who I am and accepts me for the women I aspire to become. I've never had a man that supported me in my dreams. it's always me supporting him. When do i get my turn at happiness? Most of my friends are married already." she sobs some more....

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Does the above sound even remotely familiar? Many of us meet people, become infatuated with ideas and agendas which are mostly hidden and call it love. When we first meet people we often drift along life on Cloud 9, ignoring all the signs of incompatibility that life shows us because hey, we just KNOW we can make this thing work. After all, he/she is the finest thing you have ever seen! What are we doing to ourselves? What is really going on here when we compromise our standards to execute our self-driven agendas? So yeah, you got some similar interests, you've done some of the same things, you share some of the same beliefs, and have some of the same dreams. Now you equate this as "we both want the same things in life". Is this really so? Maybe or maybe not. What you are not thinking about is the fact that everyone has their own ideals as to how to implement their beliefs which have been mostly shaped by external influences such as mom and dad, your siblings, your friends, and your society (there are several societies within the Matrix) that you fit in. The other thing you must consider is that not everyone is going to be honest about their agendas and how they feel they need to go about finding or creating the perfect mate. See, if your mate was so "perfect" you would just accept him/her for whom they are and not try to influence them or get them to change. Now, perhaps they do have 6 or 7 of the character and qualities that you wrote down on your "mate wish list" but let's be honest here, somewhere along the line, during the experience, you gave in to something.

That "something" that you gave into was your lower self which believes that you will only receive happiness in one or two ways: (1) by giving him/her what she wants; (2) by getting what you want. You are either looking to be taken care of or looking to take care of the other so that you can have a certain amount of control, if not all, within the relationship.

Early Signs of Incompatibility.

Lack of Trust: He/she doesn't trust you because of their past experiences. In this case, here you have all of these wounded people who want you to prove yourself because they basically have not taken the time to connect to their higher selves so that they can learn how to trust themselves to make the right decisions. Even though they say they don't trust people what they are really saying is that they don't know when or when not to trust people because they are not aware of the greater connection they have with life, which communicates to you through feeling, or the Enteric Nervous System (known as the second brain, located in the lining of the gut and connected with Intuition). Everything communicates through vibrational frequencies known as feelings and/or e-motions. When a trust issue arises and you are faced with making the decision and you feel uncomfortable, your higher self is letting you know you need to work this out and this is your chance to overcome this discomfort by accepting WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO EXPERIENCE at that time in your life. Sometimes we choose things because we believe there are no other options or we are too afraid to commit just to avoid making alleged "wrong decisions" and suffering a blow to the ego (i.e. what will my friends/family think about me? I should know better by now). Contrary to popular belief, maturity is NOT based on age, but on one's ability to understand life lessons enough to change one's perspective and act with wisdom. Sometimes one may have to go through the lesson a few times until they are ready to graduate to the next evolutionary stage of consciousness.

So why is Trust an early sign of incompatibility? If one person has already gotten the lesson and is comfortable with their decision making process, it can cause friction or frustration because the couple will never truly be in harmony. One person is left to make all the decisions which means they are the proactive force within the relationship. If both individuals are dealing with trust issues, well then you are headed for disaster and drama city. Somebody will always be paranoid and sleep with one eye open. In doing this, both or neither truly give all of their love.

Unspoken Agendas

Our body of thoughts form patterns which structure our belief systems. The Mental Body, a subtle body which extends just beyond your emotional body, houses these thoughts. For everything you believe you have no control over, illusory bodies or structures of thought form geometric bubbles, so to say, around your physical body. These illusory bodies determine the cycle of your experiences. In other words, what you draw to you, based on the law of attraction and the energies that emit from the earth which is channeled directly into your body to give you what you need.

Let me put this into practical terms for you. You meet a man/woman that you think is the finest thing on the planet and boy oh boy if you could just convince them to be a part of your life, you will live happily ever after. It will be you two against the world if it has to go down that way. The man, a successful entrepreneur, promises you the world. The woman, a strong creative force with vision, promises "traditional" support. Sounds simple, easy, and cool, right? WRONG! The man, has major issues, first he is very set in his ways, he is also an abuser, a charming smooth talker, and an egomaniac. The woman, is very set in her ways, has low self-esteem, is a people pleaser, and tired of running into dead ends. Now this scenario can be switched around - gender is no factor here. Both see the issues within the other, but they want what they want. The man wants a woman to help him maintain his business and raise his children at home and be the King of his castle. The woman wants to be financially stable and she wants to be married and raise her children but wants her voice to be heard. Still sound normal? It probably is, but the point I am making here is that things aren't going to go so smoothly because one is going to try to convince the other to go along with their agenda. One has to give in or get out and guess wha? Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. People will stay in an incompatible relationship for many reasons, finances being the major one whether it is to avoid alimony, child support, or working a job. Other reasons stem from people not wanting to be alone or thinking their biological clock is ticking and they will never find another mate at their age. They may also be worried about what others may think about them.

Bringing the illusory body together with my example: if a person believes they have to accept drama in order to be in a relationship because "there is always going to be something you have to deal with" then this is exactly what they will experience. It's just like the Illusion of poverty - some people believe they have to struggle or survive just to live their lives and so they continue to re-live a life of poverty, over and over and over again.

Three Sides To The Story

When children are born into this world they do not just receive the physical traits of both of their parents, but they also receive the energetic traits that are impressed upon them during conception and their time in the womb. How can this be? You are a multi-dimensional being made up of light or energy. Every part of your being emits and receives energy from every living thing in its environment. Energy comes into your organic vessel or body through the nadis or meridians that meet at specific locations or points in the body which is distributed and expressed through ones emotions. What were you going through in your life when you conceived your child? What were your parents going through? Try this, get a pen and pad and have a talk with both of your parents, if you can, and ask them if they remember what they were going through. Look at the cycles, the patterns, the events, the mind set, the characteristics of both and you will see your reflection. You chose these people for a reason. An agreement was made that they would usher you into this world so that you could receive your life lessons and whatever was unresolved is supposed to get resolved so that you can grow on with your life.

So now that you understand the energy components that make up and effect your experiences and you should be able to see what you need to do to advance to the next level of your life. Don't hold on to grudges and blame the other person for the drama in your life. You have your issues and so does the other person and this creates a new energy between the both of you that if not developed, first internally, then externally through the relationship, will die off. There is your side, then the other person's side, then what is REALLY going on, on an vibrational level.

So who is to blame? There is no such thing as blame since you both made a conscious decision and effort to have a relationship together for a time. You wanted to experience life with that person and vice versa. You merged through sexual relations and created a unique experience that is like no other. If your break up is fresh, you will have a hard accepting responsibility for your decision. If it has been some time, this is the moment to take to look at what you have been holding on to and what you need to transition out of. I know sometimes this very process can be scary because you have to be honest with yourself about your secret feelings and hidden personal beliefs, you know the things you don't like to talk about to other people. If you are a parent, the more you take time to heal, the more you break the vibrational cycle. When you evolve, you end up giving your children energetic boosts of self progression and what could be more priceless?

At this point and time in your life, you must understand that you must make up, and I do literally mean "make-up" your mind just like you would a story or a song. Make up your mind as to what you want to experience in life, develop your energy wellness enough to maintain the vibrational harmony of that which you seek and unto you will come the riches of life - the things not found in fairy tales, but oh so true.

With so much sex in the world, it is no wonder that so many of our youth are wildin out. The truth of the matter is that they are simply reenacting the things they see adults do, say and believe. There is a collective consciousness that exists within each family, neighborhood, community, city, county, state, country, continent, and then of course the world. It is so much easier for adults to point the finger and blame others for the state we see today. The saying "Become the change you want to see in the world" has become nothing more than a cliche that humanitarians, philosophists, intellectuals, and revolutionaries say to calm the heart of their passifying judgment. For one to actually become this change they so want to see, they have to be willing to not only embrace their faults and weaknesses, but they also have to be willing to step outside of the box to see any fault in what they have been supporting, using as their foundation to induce their self-centered agendas. The truth of the matter is that not many are ready to conquer their weaknesses and faults, but more are willing to justify it or explain it away. What then have we become in this world of vanity when all paths have failed us, all ideals have mislead us, all measures of faith have led us nowhere but in circles that are driven beneath the waters of deceit? Who are we kidding? The path to self-righteousness leads all astray and down a road less traveled by the Wise Ones. We walk in bitterness thinking we can change the world. We walk in peace thinking that by no action or by not disturbing the waters of ignorance that we have actually done our families a service. When will we return to our rightful state of inheritance? Have we even proven ourselves worthy of Life when we do nothing but through it all away for vanity and self gratification? We allow our children to be polluted by the wrath of unconscious methods of living and being with one another. We do nothing but wallow in ignorance when so much that our elders and ancestors have fought for is slipping away, right beneath our feet. It is up to each and everyone of us to educate ourselves about ourselves and then to pass this knowledge on to our children. The wisdom of Life awaits us.. Won't you please join me in this journey?

THE PATH TO ETERNAL LIFE...

when taken seriously will lead you into the deeper mysterious teachings that have been kept, hidden away from our ancestors. The greatest feat that they had to overcome was not knowing that the All Knowing exists within them. Each and every one of them. Each and every one of us. That's it. When we choose to let our emotions (energy in motion) run ramped, we choose to walk in struggle. When we choose to let our energies direct our actions, we walk like fools. For this matter we must address the issue concerning sexual energy or life force energy that has taken control of the world we live in. One need not seek books written by humans to understand, see the living library that exists within yourself. The blood of life runs strong through your veins, pumping every ounce of information you have ever sought after. The etymology dictionaries defines blood as -  "to swell, gush, spurt," or "that which bursts out" (cf. Goth. bloþ "blood," bloma "flower" or "to thrive, bloom". I decided to look up the definition for bloom and Websters has many definitions, but they all say something like "state of having the buds opened". You know what? I couldn't stop there, I had to keep going. So I looked up the definition of bud and the American Heritage Dictionary says: An asexual reproductive structure, as in yeast or a hydra, that consists of an outgrowth capable of developing into a new individual.

After reading all of that and seeing the words bloom, blossom, flower, and bud there was only one conclusion to come to: Much like photosynthesis which is defined as the act of capturing this energy (from the sun) with various pigments (such as chlorophyll) which absorb different wavelengths of light or frequencies - We humans do almost the same thing. As we engage in life activities we CAPTURE energy with our MELANIN pigment which absorbs different wavelengths of light or frequencies too (See you tube Dr. Jewel Pookrum for deeper understanding of melanin). The energy or emotions become personified through us and chooses a form of EX-press-ion through the conscious state of the individual. The major energy centers or chakras (correctly pronounced chuk-rahs) or spinning wheels of light (energy) have also been symbolized by flowers for many generations. The closed flower or bud represents the closed or emotionally clogged chakra. The open flower represents the opened and free flowing chakra. Yet, some opened chakras can be blown out of proportion, literally from trauma, which brings me back to the sacral chakra that governs many things, but especially our sexual energy. An imbalanced in the sacral chakra results in excesses. These excesses manifest themselves in the form of addictions, greed, violence, anger and a consuming feeling of dissatisfaction. In balance, the sacral chakra facilitates rites of passage - smooth physical growth, healthy sexual expression, positive body language, clarity in understanding our needs versus our wants, tempering of desire, utilizing our ambition/passion for higher purpose (rather than base or primitive desire).

How is it then that the issues concerning sexual abuse and exploitation are not taken seriously and remains inconclusive with the spiritual and cultural communities? Many focus on kegels, fabulous fellatio, or seminal fluid retention for increased gratification rather than solutions to heal the many sexually abused boys and girls that wonder aimlessly in our very own homes and neighborhoods. How can any of us determine a path of righteousness and liberation without seeking to balance our imbalanced chakras? How can we hear the spirit of discernment when we have all of these unresolved issues like anger, overpowering and in some cases directing our intelligence? How can we operate as a unit when our overactive sexual energy is directing our desires and confusing our attractions and disturbing our dreams even? What have we become when we put down our children for re-enacting the things they see and hear us do? Our children are having sex - period. They are doing exactly what we have taught them to do. Are you, the parent, willing to educate yourself about yourself enough to save your own child? It can be done. Understanding the sexual energy is only the beginning, there is much more that has to be accomplish, but at least after reading this you hopefully are not pointing the finger and passing judgment on the children that are crying out for help.

Stay tuned for part 3 as we journey deeper and finally go over the techniques for balancing out the sacral chakra and refining the raw sexual energy.

I recall the days when I was a teenager, hanging with my friends, doing my best to resist peer pressure with no reference point to avail me. My mother and every adult in my life shunned teen sex but they never told me and other teens what we could do in its stead. They never even took into consideration the sexual abuse that most teens face when they are younger and how that greatly influences their sexual energy. Instead, the preach shame and guilt upon the child that engages in sex at an early age. By thus doing, the child retreats into an imbalanced form of self-expression and living that is interpreted as rebellion.

The lack of self-knowledge of the parent and by the parent puts the family at a disadvantage of balance and harmony because they know not what other options are available to their children. They know not about the energetic anatomy of themselves and thus, cannot begin to teach it to their children. With overactive or underactive sexual energy radiating from the adults who run the society at large, it can be a confusing time of puberty for the children.

CONCEPT OF CONCEPTION

Most people believe that fetuses only inherit the biological make up of parents and fewer are aware of the fact that they inherit emotional habits and patterns of both parents as well.
This also includes mental and spiritual inheritances as well as everything is energy. When dealing with the human body, areas of science such as Quantum Physics, PNI (psychoneuroimmunology), and metaphysics teach us that everything is energy. There are also ancient spiritual teachings that support these "new found" beliefs such as Taoism, Buddism, Kemeticism, and many more "isms". But before you stop reading, all one needs to do is study the human body. There are many talks of electro-magnetic frequencies within the medical field. The instruments that are used to measure biological functions (bio-feedback machines) of the body are based on frequencies emitted from the body. Frequencies, as defined by American Heritage Science Dictionary is "The rate at which a repeating event occurs, such as the full cycle of a wave. Frequencies are usually measured in hertz." Electromagnetic is defined as "pertaining to or exhibiting magnetism produced by electric charge in motion; [electromagnetic energy]." So here you have the frequency which represents the rate at which something is in motion and the electromagnetism which is the "kind" of energy being emitted.

So where am I going with all of this? How is it that doctors are aware of the energy emitted from an individual, but the individual is not aware of the energy it emits itself? How could we allow something, that is literally right in front of our face, get passed us? As humans, we give off energy in the form of vibes. Ever go somewhere and get an uncomfortable feeling? The feeling you experienced was the manifestation of the energies present in that space and your own personal energy interacting with it. You either feel it or you don't. Just stay with, I am taking you somewhere with all of this.

So now, here we are, as adults, not aware of the many different energies that are present within the human body. No knowledge of the main energy centers in the body known as chakras. No knowledge of the channels of energy that flow through the body known as meridians and nadis and no knowledge of the fact that our thoughts direct our emotions which are pure energy. The thought itself is pure energy as well. We have several energy systems within the body that we just simply never learn about unless we are willing to take a step and read uncommon material.

So as parents, who are pure energy, who have inherited the energetic makeup of their parents and so on and so on and so on, we are literally just passing down what is already existent in ourselves. Each child that you have represents your state of consciousness during the time of conception, including what was going on with you emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually whether you were aware or in denial or not. Your child is carrying everything about you in one form or another within themselves. What they have to do, is evolve from that state of consciousness through a process called soul evolution. Life is giving them a chance to sharpen and overcome the things that you, the parent, did not overcome. Life is giving them a chance to break or transmute the energetic frequency that has been passed down from generations. This is what many refer to as generational curses which really isn't a curse since one gets the chance to eliminate it for the future generations.

Sexual energy, one of the strongest, if not the strongest, energies in the body, is so powerful that it actually creates another life. The act of creating life almost holds no significance in America as it has taken a back seat to self-gratification, and is no longer considered a sacred act. We have something called chakras (pronounced chuck-rahs) through out body and beyond. Each houses certain energies to sustain the life of our organs and filter out the energy from the planet that we receive to support our internal life systems. With some of us, our sexual chakra (called the sacral chakra) is already active especially if one has been raped, molested, or incested. Otherwise, this energy awakens during the state of puberty and needs to be directed by transformation into a more refined energy. When we tell our children to not have sex, ignoring the fact that this energy is awakened, we are telling them to suppress that energy and it further attributes to their malignant behavior. Energy, including sexual energy, must stay in motion and the minute it ceases circulation or movement, is when dis-ease begins to set in, manifesting first in the energetic subtle bodies that inter-penetrate our physical body, then affecting our moods and behaviors through our thoughts and emotions. There is a solution, and no, I'm not referring to the children actually having sex. I am referring to sexual circulation. It only takes 10 minutes a day to do, in order for one to maintain their sanity (we all know what it is like to feel horny and not be satisfied).

Stay tuned for part 2 of this blog as I go into sexual circulation and its benefits and how we can direct our pre-teens and even ourselves to use this technique as an alternative. Remember, we cannot tell our children, or anyone, to NOT do something without giving them another option - or a point of reference.

Have you suffered from ridicule, sarcastic jokes, or just down right cruelty from your family or long term friends simply because you stopped eating meat or stopped wearing chemical hair, or changed your religious beliefs? What about how you raise your children? Do your family or friends disagree with how you discipline your children?

A little of my story.. When I finally decided to grow my hair natural and stop wearing perms, I was "rebuked in the name of Jesus".. My momma told me that the Devil had gotten a hold of me. Other women looked at me and made crazy remarks about my use to be long hair that was now short.. Some told me my momma should slap me in my face. Others said I should be ashamed of myself.

When I changed my diet to vegan.. mannnnnnnn people treated me like I had stole something. They would just stare at me in the break room at work and question me about my food. I never told them they were unhealthy, never bothered them..

We will be talking about this on the Goddess Round Table as well as some solutions as to how to overcome the ridicule and what to do.. Some good rebuttals and more..

Join us on Thursday @ 9pm pacific time

www.blogtalkradio.com/goddessroundtable

GODDESS ROUND TABLE NEEDS YOU TO COME AND SHARE YOUR STORIES.. THE CALL IN NUMBER IS (347) 945-7187

Healing from Domestic Violence download the techniques or the book 9 Keys @ www.eternalkween.com

Excerpt from “9 Keys to Unveil Your Secret Wisdom”

But I Love Him

 
            I was afraid to go home but I was determined to take control of my life again.  In order for me to do that I would have to face my enemy and he was not just going to walk away.  There would be a fight and I had nobody to call on to help me get my soon to be ex boyfriend out of my house.  Yet, I made a decision, even if he tried to kill me, I was not going to back down, I was going to hold my ground. 

             I remember the first time we met.  He had that Denzel persona about him.  He was a very handsome man and very charming.  he came into my life during a time of serious chaos and disorder.  I had been homeless with my family, jobless, and raped.  I had no self confidence, no self love, and no sense of direction with my life.  I had just turned 21 years old and I was living in NYC.  This city was eating me alive and he taught me how to survive the streets.  He was my first true love and my first heartbreak.  I trusted his opinions so much that I wouldn’t even go shoe shopping without him. 

             He tormented me every night, pinning me down and throwing me around like a rag doll so that I could not move, he would say the most horrid and devastating things beyond imagination, whispering them softly in my ear for several hours at a time.  Meanwhile, I squirmed and tried to get him off of me and would scream for him to let me go.  It only made him hurt me more and for longer periods of time.  When he was holding me down, he was constantly picking arguments and criticizing my every action.  Making false accusations about my telephone conversations and my whereabouts.  Often speaking about the taintedness of women and how he was lucky he found me before I became tainted.  He said he was going to conform me to be the type of woman that he thought I should be.  That’s exactly what he told my father face to face and my father said and did nothing.  Crying was almost as normal as breathing.  I was depressed and I didn’t know what to do.  Here I was in love with a man that I thought just never had a good woman and I figured that maybe if I could him how faithful I was and how supportive I was of him that maybe he would come around.  I did everything I could think of to prove to him that I loved him and that I wouldn’t hurt him.  I even supported him financially since he was having a hard time finding a job.  Later on I would find out that him not finding a job was just his was of running game.  No matter what I did, he was always displeased.  He would slap me or man handle me if he thought I was going to resist him.  If he couldn’t get me to do what he wanted then his attacks would become more vicious.  I wasn’t use to this, I didn’t know how to handle it and I didn’t know what to do.  My mother, although she kept telling me to leave him, was just as controlling and wouldn’t let up on me either.  She made sure that she told me her opinion of me.  Often telling me that I was not behaving like a woman of God and whatever else came to her mind.  Between the two of them, I was losing my mind.  I lost all sense of how I was supposed to live my life and nothing made sense any more.  I remember holding my head between my hands and screaming, nobody was around me at the time.  I struggled to get a hold of myself.  I laid on the floor for what seemed like hours, numb and motionless.  Just as thoughts of suicide were creeping in my mind, for the hundredth time, another thought out thought the suicidal thoughts.  I immediately rose to my feet and pulled out this book I had on prosperity and began to read the affirmation that were at the end of the book.  Most of the affirmations spoke of how to be in tune with the creator and relying on the creator for all ones needs.  I sat there for about an hour going over all of the affirmations giving them my full attention and actually feeling and believing them.  I felt a lot better and my tears had stopped.  I began to say my affirmations everyday and pretty soon, I began to write my own affirmations.  Since I was feeling stronger just from saying them, I decided to record them on tape so that I could listen to them before I fell asleep each night.  I saw and felt my sanity coming back to me immediately.  I was able to focus better.  I was more emotionally balanced and my boyfriend couldn’t manipulate me like he had been doing all along.  It was time for me to make a choice and I didn’t want him in my life any longer.  I told my boyfriend that he had 30 days to move out of my apartment.  He did not respond.  What was interesting is that during those 30 days, he found a job and was out a lot and whenever he was home, he didn’t speak very much to me.  That was all the time I needed to prepare myself as much as possible for the 3-hour fight that was going to take place at the end of the 30 days. 

             When I picked my son up from after school care, I told him that no matter what he heard to not come out of his room.  I sent my son to his room.  My boyfriend was in the living room.  I went right to him and before I could say anything he told me that he found an apartment two blocks away.  I told him that it was over between us and he needed to leave immediately.  That’s when he lost his temper.  We fought in every corner of the house.  He kept telling me it was just growing pains that we were going through and we would be alright.  At one point he grabbed me and pulled me down to the floor and held me close to him.  He began to rub my head, softly and kiss me softly on my head and he told me we were going to be just fine.  That’s when I grabbed the phone and hit him right in the middle of his forehead.  Blood spewed out.  He screamed at me, and grabbed his head.  Somehow I got the phone and ran into the other room to call the police.  I quickly locked the door behind me, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying to get me.  He got a hammer from the other room and proceeded to break the door knob.  The police was on their way.  There was nowhere to go and nowhere to hide, and nothing I could use for self defense.  He broke into the room and grabbed me by my neck and threw me across the room onto the floor.  “You stupid little bitch, you think the police can keep you away from me?!?  He threw me down the stairs, but I caught myself halfway.  It didn’t matter he was right behind me now.  He grabbed me by my hair and slammed my face into the wall.  I thought my life was over at that moment, but he took his finger and ran it across the freshly cut open wound on his forehead that I had placed there just moments before I reached the room.  “You made me bleed so now I’m going to put my blood on you so you will see how it feels!”  The fighting went on and twenty minutes or so later, the police arrived. 

 Walking Back Into Sanity

             The above story, which is true, is an example of a traumatic experience that I had to confront from my past.  It was one of the single most terrible relationships I ever had.  It changed my life forever.  I allowed it to affect the way I looked at men and religion.  I knew I had to get to the bottom of this experience.  So I began to do a series of self-reflection and questioning.  I had to get specific with my questions.  I asked myself, what attracted me to that man?  Ok, so I thought he was very handsome.  I loved his self-confidence.  I also liked his style.  What attracted me to him the most however, was the fact that he was able to see my sadness and he saw the truth behind my smile.  So I felt he understood me.  I had never been in a committed relationship and I choose him to experience it with.  I also wanted to show him that in spite of all of the bad experiences he had with other women, that I would not hurt him. 

 
After I figured out why I got with him, I had to understand why I choose an abusive man to experience love with.  That seemed pretty desperate to me.  I was only 21 years old at that time and I certainly should not have felt desperate.  Yet, when I thought about it, I remember that I had never felt loved by my family or anyone else.  Now, technically, I knew my family cared about me but I didn’t feel the love and I didn’t see it.  Here I was going through something terrible and the only one that would talk to me and try to help me was my mother.  My mother’s tactics were so overbearing that I could not deal with her.  It felt like she was trying to control me as much as he was.  My father was aware of the situation and never said a thing to me about the situation.  That upset me very much.  Here was the root of my problem – my parents.  

             Before I continue, it is necessary to note that as children, we learn by example.  We do what we see adults do.  We create our perceptions and truths based on the experiences the adults around us create.  Without the proper guidance, If there is no one to cultivate these beliefs they go own to become a part of our belief system. 

             I also had to check my ego.  I was being stubborn and hard headed.  Nobody could tell me anything.  I knew what I was doing and he really wasn’t that bad if I could just convince him that I was really a faithful woman, after all I had did nothing. My mother had warned me and even though I didn’t appreciate her strong approach, I should’ve listened.  I had friends that told me to leave him alone, but I was being stubborn and ignored what they told me to.  So there were warning signs, even besides my friends and family warning me.  That man’s twisted way of thinking and psychological controlling ways, was enough to tell me to run and don’t look back.

 Dealing with My Weaknesses

             To me it was obvious that I had no self love, self respect, self worth, or self-discipline.  I just had no sense of myself at all.  I was making all the wrong choices.  I had no guidance.  I had no clue how to go about living my life better.  I had to accept the fact that I didn’t know what direction I was heading for in my life.  One thing was for sure, I was tired of crying, tired of being taking advantage of so easily, and tired of being misunderstood.  I decided that if my life was going to change for the better, then I would have to equip myself with more knowledge.  I would speak what I felt with honesty even if the other person would not like what I was going to say.  I had to toughen up.  One of the reasons people were able to take advantage of me was because I wanted to be accepted.  As a child I went through a lot of alienation and I didn’t want to experience that as an adult.  So, I had to let go of the idea of trying to be accepted by everyone because I noticed when I did that, I was doing whatever I could to please other people.  I was definitely a people pleaser.  Being a people pleaser had served me no good. 

Cleaning out my skeletons

             Even though I had been taken advantage of  by many people, I had not exactly been an angel myself.  My honesty often hurt people.  I was very spontaneous and if I saw something that I liked, I went after it.  I had to take responsibilities for the things that I had done to people that hurt them.  I am a believer of that saying:   as you sow, so shall you reap or what goes around comes around.  I did not honor myself therefore nobody else honored me.  I did not respect myself and therefore, nobody else respected me.  I was too floaty at times, all over the clouds.  I had no grounding.  

             I knew it was time for me to pull out my pen and paper and really take a look at my life, my thoughts, my actions.  If I was going to equip myself with knowledge, then I needed to have something tangible in front of me to look at to say, this is what you have been doing and as a result of all of these things, this is what it has led up to.  The one thing that I can say is that when you put everything on paper, well before I even say that, I will say, if you can honesty write down on paper the things you’ve done to other people, and how you were with yourself, it might not be a pretty picture.

 www.eternalkween.com/products.html - FOR MORE INFO ON HOW TO HEAL FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Hey sistahs.. this is probably going to be half vent and half comment - but my purpose is truly to educate. What sparked this? I got a call early this morning from a friend of mine that I ran into about 8 months ago. she told me she had fibroids said she didn't want to do surgery was looking for other methods so i shared my story of how i got rid of mine by detoxing, juicing, colonics, doing water ceremonies deep in the appalachian mountains, and also doing biofeedback machine.. so ok.. she was down.. kewl.. she ended up using herbs and acupuncture and then eventually tried this alternative drug that is harmless no side effects and had raving reviews. ok.. so all of this was working.. but guess what she told me this morning?? She says, Finex, I can't take the pain! it is getting worse! I am going to have surgery tomorrow.. I said, wha?? so immediately i start asking questions and go deep into spiritual realm to find out what is happening with this sister... and i immediately got my answers.. and we talked about it. so now that she has put herself in this position, she may be getting an hysterectomy.

Now.. ok.. i've given the background.. this is not the first time that I have heard this story from sisters. It is so sad to me, I can count on and on about the many women friends that have had hysterectomies due to fibroids.

SO THIS IS FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE THEM AND REALLY DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOUR WOMB....

10 "DO NOT DO" Rules if you want to keep your uterus

1. DO NOT drink alcoholic beverages! this weakens EVERYTHING in your body and FEEDS the Fibroids by sustaining low emotional vibrational frequencies within the subtle bodies; impairs your judgment, just makes your feel worse...


2. DO NOT smoke cigarettes OR WEED! yeah, i know herb is of the erff, but because of the misuse and abuse of it, the manipulation of the growth of it, and the energy behind the growers of it.. it will NOT assist with the strengthening of your body and your subtle body which means that you will always be vulnerable energetically, spiritually, and emotionally. and it does leave open I believe Dr. Jewel Pookrum said the "4th circuit of the brain" (access to other dimensions). Now, as for cigarettes - same thing. That ain't no natural tobacco and same as aforementioned.

3. NO MORE DRAMA! It's as simple as that.. leave the drama alone! In addition to many other reasons, fibroids are formed from stagnant energy that is within your womb.. Unresolved emotional issues concerning your creativity, living out your dream, your relationships, your job - are energetically stored within your womb which has an affinity to your Higher heart chakra. Many authors have written on this from Queen Afua, to Dr. Jewel Pookrum, to Dr. Christine Northrup. Drama also includes being a hater, holding grudges, being envious or jealous, deceitful, worrisome, depressed (get some help), and any other emotion that is destructive to yourself and/or others.

4. WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING IN YOUR MOUTH? Leave the dairy products alone - you can't digest it fully no way! Leave the refined and processed breads alone because once bread enters the colon it just turns back to dough and sits there. ewe! further weighing down on your uterus. Leave those fried foods alone. Eat more fresh and raw foods.

5. DO NOT TAKE LAXATIVES! they dehydrate you. do an enema with a 2 quart bag or better yet, get a several colonics done. Remember to repopulate your intestinal walls with probiotics, take digestive enzymes, and drink bulk fiber to help re-form and strengthen the colons muscle tone.

6. DO NOT DRINK SODA, COFFEE, OR OTHER ARTIFICIAL OR DRUGGED DRINKS! If you can't name 3 nutritious benefits of what you are about to put into your mouth then chances are you shouldn't be drinking it. This includes "flavored" drinks which is just a disguise for "MSG".. You don't have to "naturally flavor" orange juice. It already tastes like an orange! lol..

7. IS THAT YOUR OWN THOUGHT YOU'RE THINKING? Stop being so pessimistic about EVERYTHING including yourself. Change your thought patterns by using positive reprogramming, canceling out anything negative that you say and replacing it with something positive immediately. Stop talking to negative thinking people and definitely DO NOT share your dreams and future endeavors..

8. DON'T JUST SIT AROUND! Exercise.. move your body. The lymphatic system (the sewer system of the body) does not circulate on its on like our circulatory system. It's circulation comes through rigorous body movement. at least 20 minutes of it.

9. DO NOT use natural remedies or even modern ones while still living a toxic lifestyle. The body was made to heal itself, if you keep putting toxic stuff in you (which is what got you the fibroids in the first place), you are canceling out all of your efforts and the efforts of everyone that has/is helping you. Examples: smoking cigarettes/weed but drinking fresh vegetable juice; meditating but cussing out your boyfriend or whoever crosses you in the wrong way; getting a biofeedback session or energy session but eating ice cream, butter, or cheese on all of your food; exercising and then eating fried chicken with mash potatoes and gravy. You will never get results this way.

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEASE

10. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE! Immediately when you find out you have fibroids, consider your options and take action right away! If you wait until its too late, you will be in severe pain and listening to a doctor tell you to get a hysterectomy.

Slowly, Finex takes a uterus, walks over to a bag full of flour and seasoning, puts it in, shakes it up, and pops it into the deep fryer of negative emotions, bad dietary habits, laziness, and procrastination.. Then she looks up and says "THIS IS YOUR WOMB ON DRUGS - ANY QUESTIONS?"

This is a very special blog to all of my sistahs that happen to read this. it is special, because we are special and it is especially us that need to know the power that we possess and so easily give away. Some of us think we are on top if we exploit it ourselves and get material gain in return.. How can this be if one never taps into the fullness of their power? it's like knowing the abc's, being able to sound them out phonetically, and saying them forwards and backwards but not being able to spell a word.

So many of us focus on "P" power but fail at using this same power to access our Goddess-hood, our immortal rites, and unlimited power of the Sacred Mother of the Universe..

The Ancient Ones left us keys to use to access the hidden doorways within our organic vehicle that we call "body". Unfortunately, some of these keys are taken literally and the symbolism is missed, or misunderstood altogether. We focus on things such as diet and nutrition, exercise, and some form of spiritual development - and that is if we are even to get this far at including all of these disciplines in our life. What is missed and often kept the same is our sexuality. Some of us do not embrace it because of the abuse. Some of us overly embrace the lower aspect of it because of abuse. Yet what is the connection between sexuality and our spiritual selves? Is there even a separation? Of course not!!! Don't be so silly - you silly girl you!

I will be discussing this topic in much further detail this Thursday, June 12 @ 9:00 p.m. pacific time

We will address:
The secret foundation to all things
The power of this foundation
Myths of the foundation
Misuse/abuse of the foundation
Accessing your rites to this foundation

You don't want to miss this... Listen up to the Goddess Round Table on Thursday @ 9 p.m.

www.blogtalkradio.com/goddessroundtable

How many of you can relate to coming home and sometimes feeling like you're not alone?
How about getting an eerie sort of feeling?
How about having one too many arguments in your home with your family?
How about witnessing your family take on strange behavior?

If you answered yes to any of the above, it may be time for you to do some spiritual cleaning in your home. Often times, when we leave our home we are exposed to all sorts of things from sentient beings to astral critters to just down right negative or low energy.

So why is this possible? Well, the truth is that we live in a multidimensional world where many things exist within the same space at one time. American culture would choose for you to ignore this, but if any one of you were to look back at your ancestral culture and find out what your ancestors use to do for for spiritual cleansing and protection, you might be surprised to find out that those techniques were a daily chore.  Our ancestors understood that we were not alone on this planet.

As we leave our home and then come back into our home, we often are carrying "things" around our aura field that originally are not ours. How can this be? Well, the average person's aura field (which is your natural shield of protection from those things unseen to the naked eye) is damaged and weak. This makes your vulnerable to all the lurking critters in the world. So for example, have you ever went to meet a friend for lunch and that friend was going through some challenging times? This same friend begins to vent, and you, being the good friend that you are "engage" in the conversation. After a few hardy laughs, you both part ways and continue on with your day. Later in the day, while interacting with others, you slightly notice that you are a bit easily agitated with others. It doesn't have to be everyone, but you just realize that your patience is short and that person may not being doing anything really agitating at all. This is a good example of you carrying that heavy energy your friend just vented about. There are many examples, but I find this one to be a much more obvious and common one.

So what can you do to remove this type of stuff from around you, your home, your office, your family? The beauty is that you have unlimited choices as to what you can do.

1. Before you leave your home, with your intention and visualization, see yourself shutting down any part of yourself that is emotionally sensitive. Only allow the presence of Universal Love to flow through it. Well, you really can't stop that from flowing through you anyway.

2. See shields of protection, in the shape of a sphere with the colors of rose, lavender, white, and gold all around you.. Make the sphere have layers within layers and in the center circle, add some triangles.. like 3 of them pointing in opposite directions or use the Star of David better known as Mer-ka-ba body as a shield.

3. For your home, you can make a mixture with some essential oils such as anyone that is a stimulant, mixed with an earthy smelling oil, and citrus oil which is light and calming. Mix it into a 2 oz. spray bottle and spray your home with this periodically. Open up your windows during this time and declare that all lower vibrational beings and thought forms must now leave your home or become one with love and light. Declare your space the home of God and angels.

Spiritual cleansing will vary depending on what cultural practices you use. The point is to just find one that works effectively and do it daily as a chore.

Lady Finex


Lady Finex is a host of her own internet radio show that discuss topics such as the one above and many more that empower women. For more detailed information on the "how to" with this topic, make sure you tune into her radio show, Goddess Round Table, and listen to the one on spiritual cleansing.

www.blogtalkradio.com/goddessroundtable

I love falling in love, but I can't stand the break up!! It hurts so much, but you know how it is when you got to do what you got to do. I mean, let's face it, we get involved with others HOPING the relationship will work out, but as time goes on hidden agendas get revealed, you start to learn more about the other person that you didn't notice before, or perhaps you have been trying and trying and trying to make it work and it just ain't happening.

Well, have I got a treat for you! You no longer have to wait months to get over your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. All you need is to understand exactly what took place. If you follow my techniques, step by step, you should be healed between 7 to 21 days. Of course, as with anything else, it all depends on your level of commitment. You must be consistent otherwise, you will have very little results if any.

Before I begin with the techniques, let me explain a couple of things. Everything around us, including us is made up of energy. The human body itself is made up of a physical body along with several subtle bodies that become less and less dense the further you go outside the physical body. For example, there is your etheric body which is the blue print for the physical body, then there is the physical body, the emotional body, the mental body, and so on and so on. Also, the human body has concentrated energy centers called chakras the receive life force energy from the universe and distributes it evenly throughout the body. Some of these chakras, which is sanskrit for wheels of light, can sometimes be overactive or underactive. Most people have overactive sacral chakras and they use this chakra as the foundation to determine if they are attracted to another person or not. The sacral chakra is over the reproductive organs amongst other things. When you feel sexually aroused, attracted, or turned on - this is the chakra that is responsible for that energy you are feeling.

So now, you feel this "attraction" towards another person and you engage them. During the time that you are in their space (i.e. you approach them and are talking to them), your sacral chakra will stimulate theirs. Depending on their level of attraction towards you, you will feel the cycle of energy spiraling between the two of you. Most people aren't sensitive enough to differentiate between their sexual energy and another's. So this is the point where the person chooses to ignore it or address it by agreeing to connect with you at another time. From the moment that you agree to go along with the attraction that you feel towards the other person, you have made an energetic link that will be stimulated anytime you think about that person. This link, is what we call "energy cords" and they are very real but only visible in the subtle body or by those who are visionaries or have clairevoyant abilities developed. These energy cords also serve as an exchange of energy between you and that other person and this is what delays your emotional healing.

When you break up with someone, this energy cord is still attached. In order for you to have a speedy recovery, you will need to remove this energy cord. This is the first step. Now, in addition to having energy cords between you and the other person, because you were communicating with that person, and more than likely planning a future, sharing thoughts, etc. etc.. you also share what we call common "thought forms" that live in your mental body. Thought forms are things that are in geometric shapes that carry thoughts and beliefs and feed off of the energy of their host - you. They want to live and they are alive so they basically function like a music song that has been looped or repeated.. It stays alive in your mental body by repeating the same thought over and over and over. Have you ever had a hard time NOT thinking about someone or thing? That is because it was a thought form. So now, I think you can tell where I am about to go with this. The next step in healing from a broken heart will be to transmute the thought form into something that carries a higher vibrational frequency that it does. Now you may be saying, vibrational frequency? what the? It's really not that complicated, I promise. Everything including us and our thoughts vibrate and thus has its own frequency.
The key to transmuting energy is to think and speak something that carries a higher frequency. In this case, it will be something dealing with your Higher Power.

Now that we got the bulk of the everything out of the way, let's walk through the techniques.

STEP ONE

Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed for 10 minutes. Breathe deeply from your diaphram (push your stomach out as you inhale, pull it in as your exhale) for a few moments to get yourself grounded and centered. Acknowledge your creator by giving thanks for all things that you have either in detail or not. Ask your creator to send the archangel Michael to come with the 2 red flaming swords (red for men, blue swords for women). Ask your creator for permission to talk to the higher self of the person you have a heartbreak over. Visualize that person a few feet away. Speak your heart to them, nicely and tell them why you are cutting the energy cords. After you speak your mind, ask the archangel michael to cut, sever, and disconnect all energy cords between you and that person. See the ends of those cords, if any are remaining in your subtle bodies, falling out and disintegrating. Ask Archangel Michael to send back your energy to you from that person, purged, cleansed, and purified. Make sure to send them back their energy purged, cleansed, and purified too.

Do this everyday until you no longer feel the need to speak them. It is also important that during this time you do not have any contact with that person, and do not linger on any memories of you and that person as this will reconnect the cords.

STEP TWO

Transmuting Thought Forms

Every time a thought or a memory of that person comes to you, say "cancel, cancel, cancel" then say "I choose to think only on [name of your higher power]" and name everything that you are greatful for and really mean it!

STEP THREE

Any time negative thoughts come to you such as "i'll never find anyone" or "i hate being alone" or anything that gets you down say "cancel, cancel, cancel" and then say "i am filled with positive energy" and say that for 5 minutes.

So exactly what are you doing by following these steps? In Step One, you are reconditioning your subtle bodies to no longer exchange energy between you and that person and to go back to how it was before you were with that person. In Step Two and Three, you are doing what we call positive reprogramming to your subconscious as your thought patterns have to be restructured. Your subconscious will accept whatever you tell it whether you believe what you are saying or not. For more info on how to take control of your life, reinvent it, or creating the life of your dreams.. tune into the Goddess Round Table Radio Show at: www.blogtalkradio.com/goddessroundtable